Have you been feeling tired and run down lately? Are you easily distracted, irritated, and less attentive? Are you fatigued, have headaches can’t sleep or sleep too much? Are you trying to keep it all together so no one notices?
I can tell if I am in that place again by just looking around my house. The first sign is the chair in my bedroom where clothes have piled up, and then it moves into the bathroom where my products are all over the place and oh and the big indicator is my closet… once the clothes start to become a big heap and I can’t find anything I know I am in that place again. What place is this? The place where everything has gone to pot and everything in your life is upside down and where you are no longer in tune with your inner self. And you are OUT OF SYNC!
How does one get here?
To think this time I actually saw it coming… I sat there as if watching a movie on TV seeing my life slowly unravel. I watched shaking my head like, “Will she ever get it together and how in the world does she find anything in that closet. Wow if those bags under her eyes get any darker I will think she was in a fight. Wait a minute didn’t I see her here a few years ago dealing with this? No, it can’t be her she was doing so well and had it together, how could this happen to her…Again?”
How? Once again I stopped sticking to the basics… I stopped watching what I was eating, stopped taking my vitamins, and stayed up way to late, getting through the day on less than 4 hours sleep. I was rushing from one place to the next trying to do everything for everyone else with no thought to myself or my well-being.
I stopped considering the things that kept me fit, healthy and at my best and I replaced them with those bad old habits of “I can do it tomorrow” or “one more bite won’t make a difference” or “I can get some sleep once I’m done with this.” Yep excuse after excuse took over and before I knew it I was running away from my life, from me. I just got tired and didn’t care anymore about keeping it all together (though deep down inside I knew this was temporary and that the real me would prevail). However, this continued until days turn into weeks and very little got accomplish and I was just going through the motions knowing I would crash sooner or later.
And guess what? I did! I woke up one morning and I could barely get out of bed, it hurt to just walk. I had worn my body down to the ground and I struggled to the bathroom looked in the mirror at my puffy face, my back hurting, both knees ached and everything in my body felt broken! I was so disappointed to be in this place again knowing better.
But what can I do, should I beat myself up? Seek therapy? Pay for another gym membership or all 3?
NO! STOP! THINK!
I had to get a grip and realize that no matter what has happened I am still me, I am not this bad person my mind wants me to believe because I let things get out of sync nor have I failed myself. I had to accept where I was at this time and realize that setback happens to all of us. Sometimes when you don’t pay attention to where you are going you lose your focus and that’s exactly what happened to me. I had all the right tools understood the process and knew how to implement it but I was missing the key factor…I had lost my Focus. It was now time for me to re-group and get back to the basics but because I had let it go for months I knew it would not be easy.
First I had to talk it out with the Most High and tell him what I had done to myself and how much I needed his help and to please help me trust him and myself to do this. Then I had to get some serious rest and put myself back on a scheduled that allowed me at least 7 hours of sleep (it took weeks before I finally felt rested). I had to get back to drinking 10 cups of water a day, take multivitamins and drink lots of herbal teas. Once I started doing this I slowly had enough energy to tackle my pile of clothes in the chair and put the laundry away. Then the next week I tackled the bathroom and two days later I had energy to tackle my closet.
I was starting to feel charged again, not 100% but better. So I sat down and wrote out a weekly plan of things I needed to get done understanding that I could not do everything in one day but if I spread it out in the course of a week I could relax because I knew: on Sundays I evaluated my progress and set my schedule for the upcoming week, Mondays was the day to clean out the fridge and family day, Tuesdays was grocery and paying bills, Wednesday I could meet with the sisters, and Thursday I could set aside time for studying, early Friday I could give the house a total cleaning and prepare for the Sabbath. Once I gained momentum and trusted myself with sticking to a plan I then started changing my diet and incorporating 60 minutes of exercise a day (this is still a struggle but I am getting fit). Very basic stuff I know but when you’re out of sync you have to go back to the ABC’s.
So here I am today, I still have the same responsibilities but I am managing them – they are not managing me. I feel better and know I am on my way to the best version of me! I am healing everyday and paying more attention to my choices understanding that I don’t get to take a break from my life and that I must fully live in it each and every day!
My advice to anyone feeling out of sync is…
“Every morning begin your day with the Most High praying to him for his guidance and support, asking him questions like – Ahayah what do you think about this or Ahayah should I go here first or there. Share your inner thoughts, feelings and concerns with him and in doing so you will develop a relationship with him where he becomes your best friend and you take him everywhere you go throughout your day!
Next, meditate on your goals to give PURPOSE to your day and every night before you go to sleep, pray and think about your vision of the ultimate You—Strong, Spiritual, Healthy, and Happy. Reaffirm your belief in yourself and your goals, and stick to them! Make it happen! Be the REAL YOU and run the Race of Life to the fullest so you will no longer be out of sync!”